I love this song simply for the sample of The Clash's "Straight to Hell," one of my all time favorite songs.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Stepford Wife...Katie Hearts Tom
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=518409&in_page_id=1773#StartComments
Friday, February 22, 2008
God This is Hot
Sorry for the delay in posting. Work has been a bitch and I've been in a sour mood. For your erotic, feline viewing pleasure:
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Ok, ok - Just in time for Valentine's Day - Perfect Revenge
I think I would actually do this - just to spite a cheater.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I Can't Believe These Made It Past Marketing
and were actually aired during the Super Bowl. The backlash is already coming. Both of them have been yanked by Salesgenie.com:
Why I Don't Mind Being Alone This Valentine's Day
It could be worse than being alone - I could be the chick in this sequence.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
NOW We Know Why They Call Them "Fuck Me Pumps"
According to a recent article:
Stilletos can be good for a woman's sex life, says a study which claims wearing them "directly works the pleasure muscles linked to orgasm''. Experts found the high heels toned women’s legs and strengthened pelvic muscles.
In tests, Dr Maria Cerruto, of the University of Verona, Italy, discovered that wearing a pair of ‘‘moderately high heeled shoes’’ had beneficial effects for a woman’s sex life. ‘‘Heels work the pelvic muscles and reduce the need to exercise them.
‘‘Wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for the pelvic floor exercises necessary to keep that part of a woman’s anatomy toned and elastic,’’ Cerruto said. She asked 66 women under 50 about their sex lives, exercise regime and shoes. In tests, their pelvic muscles were more relaxed in higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract. ‘‘Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could prove to be the solution,’’ Cerruto said.
Manolo Blahnik, whose shoes are worn by Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, said: ‘‘This is wonderful news. I’ve been hounded for years about how bad it is for posture, but . . . when you put on a high heel it makes life more exciting. For women, it’s a way to appeal to the male species. ‘‘There’s a limit. Anything over 11.5cm, you can’t walk properly; it’s no longer elegant."
Stilletos can be good for a woman's sex life, says a study which claims wearing them "directly works the pleasure muscles linked to orgasm''. Experts found the high heels toned women’s legs and strengthened pelvic muscles.
In tests, Dr Maria Cerruto, of the University of Verona, Italy, discovered that wearing a pair of ‘‘moderately high heeled shoes’’ had beneficial effects for a woman’s sex life. ‘‘Heels work the pelvic muscles and reduce the need to exercise them.
‘‘Wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for the pelvic floor exercises necessary to keep that part of a woman’s anatomy toned and elastic,’’ Cerruto said. She asked 66 women under 50 about their sex lives, exercise regime and shoes. In tests, their pelvic muscles were more relaxed in higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract. ‘‘Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could prove to be the solution,’’ Cerruto said.
Manolo Blahnik, whose shoes are worn by Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, said: ‘‘This is wonderful news. I’ve been hounded for years about how bad it is for posture, but . . . when you put on a high heel it makes life more exciting. For women, it’s a way to appeal to the male species. ‘‘There’s a limit. Anything over 11.5cm, you can’t walk properly; it’s no longer elegant."
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Oscar Race: Eastern Promises
Ok, kicked the box full of Oscar movies I need to see between now and the Academy Awards sqaw in the nuts last week. Rented "Eastern Promises" in HD from Comcast and....well let's just say I understand why it was not nominated for "Best Bicture," despite deserving a "Best Actor" nomination for Viggo Mortensen.
My biggest gripe (and an important one at that) is the story (PLOT SPOLIERS). The story had sooo many undeveloped threads. This movie smacked of a pilot for an F/X series that was not picked up so they added an ending and released it as a film (sound familiar, David Lynch? Yeah, I'm talking about that promising piece of shit you put out, Muholland Dr.).
Threads I would expect to see developed over a 3-4 season series: (1) what was Naomi Watts' character doing in a maternity ward in Russia (no, this was not thoughtfully explained - fuck you)?; (2) how did Viggo Mortensen's character become so deep into the Russia mafia and for what purpose?; (3) just what the fuck did Armin Mueller-Stahl's mafia family do (other than a sex trade)?; (4) was Vincent Cassel's character actually gay and what Mortensen playing that angle up?
The acting was top notch (although Naimi Watts was outacted by the boys' club in this one). The tea-baggin', donkey-punchiun',I-don't-care-if-I-look-gay-jumping-on-you-in-a-spa-naked fight scene was a sight to behold. I've never seen so much awkward nakedness in a movie (Sienfeld's "bad naked") - but man, it made a hell of a fight scene. Viggo deserves the Oscar for this fight scene alone, not to mention his complete transformation into Russian mafia scum, accent, tattoos, and all. His Russian was pretty damn good.
Oscar Verdict: In a vaccum, Viggo deserves an Oscar. I will have to compare his performance to the other nominees: Jones, Clooney, Day-Lewis, and Depp. My money is on Jones, Depp, or Clooney based upon the "come guys, its about time" factor.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Weekly Feature: Invisible lolcat
You know, I look at the "Icanhascheezberger" site everytime I need some cheering up and it never disappoints. My particular favorite ongoing series is the "invisible series." There are so many good ones. To this end, I shall provide the one that started it all. Without further ado, I present the "invisible sandwich."
TWKYK - Get a New Daddy
A wonderful sketch comedy program, "The Whitest Kids You Know," will soon begin its second season on the Independent Film Channel (IFC). If you have not caught the first season, you are truly missing out. This is one of my favorite sketches from season one, "Get a New Daddy:"
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Google Earth Captures Biblical Events
The guys at Google have really outdone themselves. Using ancient satellite photographs, they have managed to capture some of the biggest events in Biblical history:
The Crucifixion:
Noah's Ark, before finally being picked up by the Great Flood:
The parting of the Red Sea:
The Crucifixion:
Noah's Ark, before finally being picked up by the Great Flood:
The parting of the Red Sea:
Need Help on This Scrabble Gram
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Hawaii Chair...WTF?!?!?!?1?!1?!!?!11!
We are the laziest, fattest pieces of shit in the universe, bar none (http://www.hawaiichair.com/hawaii/). The Hawaii Chair is a chair that winds your colon and feces up like one of those God damn rubber-band based propeller toys in the name of "working your abdominals so you don't have to!"While I'm not a biologist or an expert in biomechanics, I'm fairly certain that your muscles have to do the work for them to grow. You know, the same way driving a car for 10 miles doesn't quite give you the same work out as if you ran that 10 miles.
This product is even worse than the electrical shock stimulators that were pawned during the 70's. At least the electical current was forcing the muscle to involuntarily flex...here, it's just spinning your ass around, making doing anything at a desk almost impossible.
I want to see the video of someone going to eat Mexican food and then sitting on this fucker for the rest of the afternoon (http://www.glumbert.com/media/hawaiichair).
Your Post Too Rong, Round Eye!
Okay, okay, so after setting up my clever and witty template with allusions to celestial bodies, I was pestered to hurry up and get some content on the blog. Geesh! Even God took a few days to get around to humanity. That being said, I unveiled my first blog - an eye bleeding masterpiece.
The response was less than encouraging. First, I'm criticised for being too long winded (this isn't a problem with WordPress (see http://sunsandplanets.wordpress.com/) as you can choose where to truncate the message and allow an interested reader to dig deeper, "after the break."
Second, my sole fan plugs her own blog on my site! I'm sure its because she knows this blog is bound to become increasingly and incredibly popular.
The response was less than encouraging. First, I'm criticised for being too long winded (this isn't a problem with WordPress (see http://sunsandplanets.wordpress.com/) as you can choose where to truncate the message and allow an interested reader to dig deeper, "after the break."
Second, my sole fan plugs her own blog on my site! I'm sure its because she knows this blog is bound to become increasingly and incredibly popular.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
MY Oscar Race Begins
With the recent-but-not-just-the-other-day announcement of this year's Oscar contenders, I find myself more interested in the films implicated by this year's nominees than any other year in recent memory. I cannot recall a year where I have been interested in just about every movie nominated in the major picture/acting categories. I chalk it up to the Academy having finally exhausted the politicking that seems to have poisoned my well of interest for the past several years.
To be sure, the mere fact that Michael Moore's "Sicko," while nominated for an Oscar, has not been surrounded by a hate/love/lib/neocon fuck fest makes me more inclined to go see it. I reconcile this phenomenon with the fact that despite the fact that I own both "Fahrenheit 9/11" and "An Inconvenient Truth," I have been unable to weather either of those films because of how much they have polarized their audiences into either Moore/Gore lovers or haters. Instead of taking the material presented in the films at face value, I find myself wondering if the filmmakers have more of an agenda than merely presenting the world as they see it, but through their eyes. To me, a true documentary either interests me ("Dieter Must Fly") or bores me ("Glen or Glenda").
That being said, I now find myself not only irritated by the writer's strike, but the creative alimony being paid by actors, directors, producers and the like in the form of "we're not scabs, we're not crossing the line." Even more irritating is the fact that all of the late night asshole hosts came back at almost the same time, having all miraculously worked last minute deals with the guild.
I am absolutely positive that I have no grasp on how difficult and starved the writers are for every single show in Hollywood and I am sure that there is a perfectly sound explanation for why a "work for hire" hack sitcom writer should also gets residuals in the syndication of the putrid shit that they (and a thousand monkeys and a thousand typewriters) crank out every day for their employer studios. It will likely be the same successful argument later used by actors (oh wait, they negotiate that up front - what a novel idea), make up people, cameramen, foley artists, and grip boys in their future negotiations for a bigger piece of the creative pie.
I see Jon Stewart is hosting, again. I guess Crystal and Goldberg are busy. I can't wait to see what political jibber jabber takes the stage, that is to say, if anybody bothers to grace the ceremony with his or her presence on February 24, 2008. Oh, fuck! February 24th! I have less than a month to squeeze in the major pictures, which as far as I am concerned are the following:
- Eastern Promises. Whoa, Cronenberg can't write -but man, he sure can direct - this smacks of the simplicity that graced his "A History of Violence." Cronenberg is known for improving through most of his films, i.e., he can't write worth shit. Both this film and his previous, "Violence" were adaptations of other authors' works...thank God.
- Michael Clayton. Clooney is like Baldwin - everything he touches is gold. Clooney also leaves belligerent voice mails on Baldwin's daughter's cell phone.
- There Will Be Blood. [Text Fades In] Written by Upton Sinclair. [Text Fades Out/ Text Fades In] Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. [Text Fades In/ Fades Out] Starring Daniel Day Lewis. Wow.
- Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I know, I know: Depp and Burton, again. I happen to believe Depp is one of the best actors in Hollywood right now and while "Willie Wonka" was a turd, I believe in redemption.
- Into the Wild. Finally, Hal Holbrook gets an Oscar nomination. I hope they get this one right. Personally, I think he deserved one for his role in "Creep Show," but that's just me.
- Atonement. The obligatory chick flick. It must be good, they're already carrying it in paperback at the "Hudson News" in Hobby Airport.
I know I've missed a few others, and if I have time, I'll squeeze them in and review them as they come. Reitman's "Juno" looks like the sequel to "Super Bad", which was the prequel to "Knocked Up", which was the sequel to "40 Year Old Virgin." Yeah, I know, it's not Aptow, but it might as well be. I'll catch that on video - I'm not wasting my time in a theater for the same shit Aptow and Rogen have been throwing up for the three (3) years.
In the meanwhile, the race is on!
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